It was an easy enough mistake to make, really. After forty-eight hours of driving, the exit to Tacoma, Washington, looks terribly similar to the exit to Seattle. Eyes made weary from two straight days of travel could easily confuse a radio tower for the Space Needle. The absence of a Starbucks on every street corner should have been a dead giveaway, but my typically keen observation skills weren't at their sharpest following my lengthy PAX-bound pilgrimage. Yes, unrelenting fatigue had brought me to Tacoma -- but some other force, be it fate or coincidence, had arranged for the 2008 Packs Convention to kick off in tandem with my accidental arrival.
I would later discover that the Packs Convention (or PacksCon, as their annual attendees have affectionately nicknamed it) was not, in fact, a video game expo hosted by the creators of a certain wildly popular webcomic. It was a celebration of portable textile containers; an unparalleled trade show for backpacks, fanny packs, attache cases, satchels, purses, man purses, handbags, duffel bags, gym bags, totes, luggage, and rucksacks. Booths lined the halls of the Greater Tacoma Convention and Trade Center, representing major players in the industry and their experimental designs. Though not my intended destination, I was fortunate enough to witness the future during the past 72 hours -- and the future involves edible briefcases.
It wasn't until I was halfway through yesterday's Jansport panel that I had realized the mix-up. Cursing my ambitious travel arrangements, the PacksCon administrators, and the concept of homonyms, I began to wonder if there would be a major gaming convention this year that I wouldn't miss out on. However, I found some small amount of solace in my newfound knowledge of the textile container industry -- and, following a number of grief purchases, how incredibly easy it was to store my belongings for the long trip home.
We know the news of a brief delay for the much-anticipated prequel to GSC Game World's S.T.A.L.K.E.R.must be disheartening for fans of the title -- however, those same fans will probably be pleased to know of the heartbreak that Clear Sky's delay will ultimately prevent. It seems that publisher Deep Purple Silver recalled copies of the title that had been distributed to North American retailers due to a printing error that left the cases sans CD keys. Apparently, those things are kinda important.
Deep Silver explained that the delay would only push the game's North American Sept. 5 release back "a few days" (the European release date is unaffected by the printing snafu), though a few retailers are listing Sept. 15 as the new launch date. We know you're jonesing for some further adventures in Chernobyl, but don't do anything brash. We wouldn't suggest playing laser tag in a poorly maintained nuclear waste repository, for instance.
Were you recently diagnosed with a severe case of sanity? We've got your physician-approved prescription posted after the break -- a tripledose of advertisements for Saints Row 2, with commentary provided by esteemed Shakespearian thespian, Gary Busey. We highly doubt that Busey was provided with a script in these videos -- when the Silver Bullet star asks, "Who hasn't wanted to kill someone with a garden gnome," he's probably not reading from a script. His addled mind ponders that very question two or three times a day.
If you're confident you can look into the heart of lunacy and come out unaffected, check the ads out after the jump. Even if you don't care about the game, we're sure you'll enjoy trying to pinpoint the moment Busey stops promoting the game, and starts having honest-to-god Vietnam flashbacks (video NSFW).
Do you feel confident in saying that you despise the chimera more than anyone else that you know? To be more specific, would you say you hate them twenty dollars more? You can prove your disdain for those yellow-eyed jerks by picking up the collector's edition for Resistance 2, recently unveiled by Amazon.com, which is quickly becoming one of the most comprehensive (if not somewhat unlikely) sources for video game news. Seriously. We're worried.
Included in the bundle (which, for the mathematically challenged, is currently priced at $79.99) is a behind-the-scenes making-of documentary, video commentary from the game's developers, a "Twisted History" chronology video, an exclusive multiplayer character skin, a double-sided art book, and a preview of the heretofore unannounced Gathering Storm novel, which is based on the game. There's also a five and a half inch tall Chimera Hybrid action figure which, due to your unreasonable chimeric hatred, you'll probably just end up microwaving in effigy.
We couldn't help but feel a little guilty as we read about a recent "green gaming summit" held by Wal-Mart's gaming blog, Check Out. Perhaps it was the revelation that our consoles, which we constantly leave running in case of emergencies, waste as much energy in a year as six refrigerators. Perhaps it was the knowledge that our towering stack of plastic game cases released more greenhouse emissions during their creation than the average mid-sized car. Perhaps it was the fact that we read the article by light provided by a stack of burning tires and cans of hairspray that we keep in our foyer.
The meeting of minds, which in addition to the retail behemoth's ludological division had representatives from Nintendo, Sony, Microsoft, Activision and Electronic Arts in attendance, resulted in the discussion of new industry practices that would focus on environmental sustainability, such as cardboard game cases and reduced-power standby modes for consoles. We suggest reading Check Out's write-up of the summit for a highly interesting (if not slightly inconvenient) read.
Were you entranced by the E3 footage of DICE's highly acrobatic action-platformer Mirror's Edge, but wished you could have seen more of the title's totalitarian cityscape? A recent developer walkthrough, showcased yesterday at PAX, might be right up your alley, over your catwalk, and onto your adjacent roof. Pop some Dramamine, then check out the video after the break to see some of the more unconventional tactics one can use to deliver a package. We just wish our trusty FedEx guy could perform l'art du déplacement with such intrepidness and grace.
We knew that as we came closer to the games' respective release dates, the feud between Harmonix/EA's Rock Band 2 and Neversoft/Activision's Guitar Hero: World Tour would reach critical mass. In the quarrel's latest smack talk salvo, Guitar Hero director Brian Bright discussed rival Harmonix's cymbal attachments for their sequel's drum kit peripheral with Eurogamer, providing some highly quotable zingers -- and buddy, we don't mean snack cakes.
Bright condemns Rock Band 2's cymbals for being "dual-mapped", meaning they'll share the functions of one of the pads of the standard kit, making the attachments somewhat unneccessary. He also dismisses them for being a panicked copycat reaction to World Tour's cymbal-equipped kit -- based on the familiar gameplay we've seen from the latest installment in the Guitar Hero franchise, we assume Neversoft would be the unparalleled experts on matters duplicative.
Here's a fun fact you may not be aware of -- a majority of Joystiq's readers fall into the 65 - 80-year-old age bracket, explaining why a majority of our ads are for prescription arthritis medication, Stouffer's Seasoned Bread Stuffing, and seasons of Matlock on DVD. As such, only a select few of you know that many schools across the country will be back in session tomorrow. The anguish among the nation's young people is almost tangible -- excluding those whose schools operate on a quarterly schedule, or homeschoolers, or Guitar Hero aficionados with irresponsible hippie parents.
With all the superb, high-quality games that dropped this summer, we wouldn't blame you for feeling like your scholastic minds aren't exactly at their sharpest. Instead of doing your summer reading of The Sun Also Rises or attending your bi-weekly Algebra Club meetings, you focused your attention on moving up the ranks of Battlefield: Bad Company or toiling through the story modes of Soul Calibur IV. Luckily, the repercussions of your educational neglect aren't as severe as you might fear -- somewhat subliminally, these Japanese hardware sales posts have provided subtle instruction over the long, humid summer months.
Hemingway is for the birds; we'd wager that as you grace the halls of your learning establishment tomorrow morning, you'll find yourself better equipped than your contemporaries for the mental challenges provided by your educators -- and for that, we have just one thing to say. You're very, very welcome.
Kylie Prymus, PS3 Fanboy's resident Rene Descartes, recently polished up his Trophy collection with wax philosophical. In one of his most insightful columns to date, Prymus turns his keen analytical eye onto the recently added PS3 Trophy system, examining how the highly enviable awards (and the fairly similar Xbox 360 Achievements) are affecting the way we play and purchase modern video games. Do easily unlocked Trophies and Achievements influence the sales success of mediocre titles? Are we playing our games differently, focusing on tedious tasks in a seemingly endless carrot chase? Do large Gamerscores and impressive Trophy collections make us more popular with the opposite sex?
We don't need no stinking philosophers to find the answer to that last one -- of course they do. For everything else though, check out Prymus' article -- we guarantee it'll be the brainiest game-related essay you'll read all day.
As you could probably deduce from earlier posts concerning ill-conceived pseudo-peripherals for Nintendo's latest home console -- we're not really fans of most Wiimote attachments. We don't need a cheap, plastic tennis racket snapped to the front of our controller to "get our McEnroe on" when playing Wii Tennis. We don't need our Wiimote to look like an ugly sword to carve up baddies in Twilight Princess. However, we suppose the only thing that could counteract our disdain for these shoddy add-ons is our unbridled love of Latin American percussion instruments.
We caught a glimpse of the "prototype" Samba de Amigo maracas a couple months ago, but a recent Amazon listing for the attachments shows that the ol' bean shakers have undergone a makeover, taking on a sassy red finish. The date Amazon has listed for the maracas is September 23 for the price of $14.99 -- though considering the title will come bundled with the attachments, you'd only need to pick these up if you wish to share the true Samba experience with a multiplayer pal. Or if you somehow broke yours, we guess. Or if you're Goro.
Trying to get those chunky pounds to come right off, but you're unable to find a copy of the elusive Wii Fit anywhere within a fifty-mile radius? Perhaps a new WiiWare title, due out tomorrow, can temporarily fill the void -- Ghostfire Games' rhythm-fitness title Helix. The game, which will cost 1000 Wii Points, will have players performing 30 different gestures with two Wiimotes to the beat of 26 songs from independent artists. Ghostfire CEO Ed Roman highlighted the game's health benefits, saying that you can "really burn some calories playing this game." Based on the gameplay video we've posted after the break, you'll probably look totally cool whilst doing so.
In the beginning, Media Molecule made LittleBigPlanet. But the levels were barren and flat, and devoid of obstacles, so the player moved upon the face of the level creation system. And the player said, "Let there be swinging, spongy balls," and there were swinging, spongy balls. And the player saw the swinging, spongy balls, that they were good, and he divided the swinging, spongy balls from the electrified floor.
If you needed any more proof that LittleBigPlanet's level creation system is going to be mind-blowingly robust, (though arguably less robust then the level creation system discussed in Genesis), we turn your attention to the video posted after the break -- a time-lapse sneak preview of a player crafting his own level. It's a pretty clever design, and looks like a blast -- best of all, it only took about ten minutes. That kind of thing apparently used to take seven days. Thanks, technology!
Battlefield Heroes is a fairly unconventional game, especially when measured against other installments in the Battlefield franchise. It's an odd chimeric blend of some of our favorite shooters, with the cartoony style and sense of humor of Team Fortress 2, the character advancement of Call of Duty 4, and the free-ness of America's Army. As such, one couldn't expect the game to be released in a conventional fashion. Were the title gracing store shelves, we'd half expect the discs to come not inside a box, but rather, baked inside of a cake.
Cousins explained that DICE simply plans to increase the size of the closed beta "to the point where every hardcore gamer in the world will probably be able to get a key if they want to," leading up to a time when the game will eventually "sneak out." We've never known a title to be well-served by a surreptitious launch, but we imagine the rules could be different when your game costs bupkis.
The sneak preview features some excellent shots of the second level of Underworld, not to mention a fantastic look at Lara's beautiful ... platforming animation. Considering the unlikelihood of the Thailand Video Game Expo ever existing, we regret to admit that it's probably the closest we'll ever come to The Land of Smiles.
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_thumbnail.jpg "i am 8-bit: 2008")
